Seasons
by khambilo
Summary: This is a tough one to do a summary for....a post-BDM Mal/Inara story.


**SEASONS**

_Originally posted at _

_M/I - an explanation of how their relationship might have gone post-Miranda._

She'd been acting strangely ever since Miranda. Everyone knew it.

First it was because she decided to stay with them, even though she had a lucrative position at the academy. Mal was the first to pick up on this, but he said nothing.

She was like the heart of Serenity; why would he want her to leave?

After a month or so, she began to take clients again, to Mal's chagrin. He reinstated her rent and the "strictly business" attitude that went with it, if only to irk her.

Half a year went by as it did before; the chiding, the seduction games, which ultimately lead to the iced over feelings between them that occasionally wore thin at times when they almost gave in.

Then the ice broke, completely, and melted away. Spring had come. It began one night, the two of them alone in her shuttle, arguing of all things. The anger, the chiding remarks became the brilliant sun that wore the ice thin. Mal's lips on hers was the proverbial stone that broke it. The scary part came when he found her kissing back.

Passion.

The following morning, he awoke in her bed, in a tangle of limbs and bed sheets. He stole a glance over at her and smiled. Spring had come. Of course, with spring, there are bound to be showers, the first of these being the two deciding on how to leave the shuttle as to avoid suspicion. Inara went first, giving no one motive to look in her shuttle. Mal followed minutes later.

For the next month and a half, their secret meetings took place in much the same way. Eventually, their fights became staged, pretenses to sneak away to the courtesan's shuttle.

And both foolishly clung to the notion that no one knew of their secret gatherings. Zoe was the first to speak up. It was late one night and Mal was stealing away to the "love shuttle." Mal fumbled to make an excuse when he was caught in the act.

"I's just goin' to uh…collect the rent," Mal said sputtered.

"Sure you ain't makin' a deposit," Zoe questioned with an arched eyebrow.

Mal fumbled about his words before an intelligible phrase spilled out. "Zoe, you won't tell th--."

"Everybody knows, sir," Zoe stated flatly.

That was it. The passage into summer. Zoe's tone that night – at that point, she had known all too well that happiness was a fleeting thing. Seeing their happiness brought much needed happiness to Serenity. Collectively, Mal and Inara became the heart of Serenity.

It was a long summer. The flowers had long since bloomed; imbuing the air with sweet fragrance. Things were simple, less complicated. Even the crew's occasional mindless jabs at them subsided. It was pure and sweet. Inara never formally renounced companioning; she simply took no clients. She was not just the companion renting the shuttle; she was a member of the crew, she was family.

She even began heisting with the others. Mal was never happy when she tagged along; a male protective complex of some sort, but what else was she to do? The job as courtesan suddenly became lackluster.

The summer was not free of its occasional squabble, but they wouldn't have traded it for anything.

But summer untimely folds to fall.

Ariel. It had been two years since they had last been there. Last time they lifted a cache of antibiotics and narcotics. This time, they dropped Inara off for her yearly examination, a letter of resignation in her hands.

She returned, changed, transformed.

Slowly, gradually, the leaves reddened, and things reverted back to the way they were before, except there were no games, no undercurrents, only anger and frustration.

Autumn was beautiful, if only to watch the gloriously colored foliage quiver tremulously in cold gusts which would harbinger the coming winter. The reality is that slowly the world around is crumbling, preparing itself for deep sleep.

"I'm dying, Mal," she told him, tears streaming from her face. Too many harsh words had been exchanged to deny him the truth.

Only a "What?" hopelessly stumbled out of Mal's mouth.

Inara bowed her head. She couldn't look at him. "I found out on Ariel."

Mal couldn't move. He wanted to reach out, to hold her, to do as he did before.

"It's degenerative," she continued explaining, "genetic."

Mal let his head drop, detecting an undercurrent, "You mean you knew all along."

"Mal, I've known since I was a child," she said, her resolve in pieces. "My mother died from it, her mother too. I've been living each day, knowing that one day the disease would manifest itself, that … That I'd…"

Mal gently hushed her as he laid his hand on hers. "Is that why you shut me out?"

The tears began to stream again as she simply nodded. "I didn't want you to do this," she let out through sobs. "I didn't want you to love me, because…I didn't know….I didn't know when I'd be gone."

"No one knows when their time's gonna be 'Nara." Mal let his hand drift to her face, his anger completely subsided. Slowly, he ran his thumb over her cheek, carefully wiping a tear away. "Besides, I think it's a bit late for regrets now darlin'," He said with a smile.

She laughed as she lifted her face to his and drew him closer.

Inara's sickness remained secret for the next couple weeks, but there was no denying she was fading fast.

The frosts were becoming more frequent. Within a month of her diagnosis, they chose to inform Simon and the others. Simon brilliantly cared for her as her strength began to fade.

The trees were all but bare.

Mal kept telling her "You'll get better. Doc'll make you better."

Inara always smiled warmly at his concerns, hope, even though she knew that a cure was not possible.

"Mal, I….There's nothing more I can do," Simon told him. "She's responded well to every treatment I could offer, but her condition…it has no cure."

Mal's resolve never broke in front of the doctor.

It was autumn, but it was almost winter.

"Marry me," he asked in desperation. "'Nara we ain't got –"

Inara laid a hand on his mouth, hushing him. "Mal…you are…so incredibly…stupid…I will, and you're wearing a white suit."

Mal's anguished expression softened to a smile. "White suit? Woman, you're a fan of torture."

Their wedding day was schedule quickly. A small quaint church on Jiangyn with only the crew as their witnesses. It was perfect. The light flooded the church, a warm ephemeral glow illuminating every corner. Simon escorted Inara down the aisle; she said he was like a father, the way her cared for her for the past month.

"I love you," Mal whispered to her at the end of the aisle, "and I…I want you t—"

Inara's head bowed slightly in amusement, a smile on her face. "Mal…shut up… we're getting married."

The last week of her life followed the ceremony, the crew in constant vigil. No one talked, no one worked, no did anything that could remotely disturb the peace, not even River, not even Jayne.

"Mal, bao bei," she beckoned him breathlessly.

"I'm here. I'm here 'Nara," he said clutching her hand. He never left her side.

She radiantly smiled. "I think…I think it's over now."

"No, no," Mal soothed, "Inara you're talkin' crazy talk, it's the meds, dearie."

She chuckled, and Mal let a smile come to his face.

"Reach into that drawer," she commanded weakly as she motioned to her bedside table. Mal instantly complied. Inside was a small box, wooden, long, thin, and narrow.

"What's this," he asked tenderly.

"It's a gift," she replied as she swallowed. "Open it."

Mal complied, unclipping the latch at its side and carefully opening it. Inside, the box was fabric lined and resting softly on the upholstered bottom was a syringe, gold lined and black.

He turned back to her. "What is it?"

A fleeting smile spread across her face. "Time. Time in injection form."

"I don't understand."

"My mother gave it to me," she explained weakly. "It will prolong death…for just a little while."

"Inara—"

"Shh….. There's not much time now."

Mal nodded as he positioned the syringe into Inara's IV. He pushed slowly the black fluid draining into her system.

She smiled warmly at him. Mal returned the smile as he set the syringe aside.

"What now," he asked charmingly.

Inara blinked once or twice, with a little more energy and clarity. "Sleep with me," she said bluntly.

Mal smiled slightly as he hit the lights and slid into her bed.

The days of autumn had passed; the first snows of winter had set.

She was gone and a long, bitter cold, winter lay before him. The drifts of snow had long since covered the spring, summer, and autumn that he had cherished more than anything.

* * *


End file.
